What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why can't we send flat Earthers to space and show them the shape of Earth?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

When does a woman know she is cumming?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Are you struggling with weight loss and finding it hard to stay consistent? What’s your biggest challenge when trying to lose weight at home?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What are some tips for making your husband fall madly in love with you again after going through the worst phase of your marriage?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Is anyone else losing complete respect for the US at this point?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Does the Hamas charter specifically call for the death of all Jews and the destruction of Israel?

TEXT:

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Is there an MBTI personality that is more or less likely to handle stress?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Was there any slavery of white people that actually compares to the transatlantic slave trade? I’m not baiting or anything actually genuinely curious and want to know.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Can you name a female actress who has had bad timing or luck in her film career?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Is Pampano safe to eat?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

How do I complain on a boy coming to marriage with me without my involvement despite no connection with him though he had an illegal affair?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.